Super-angsty super-foes

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Apr 2, 2016- Somewhere past the halfway mark in DC’s new Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, you’ll be tempted to take off those plastic 3D goggles, slump back in your seat, and close your eyes, if only to give your senses a break from what they’ve been put through thus far. Indeed, this is a film so overstuffed, so noisy and so very disjointed--hopping as it does from subplot to subplot with the coherence of a madman--that it leaves you very little time to digest who is who and what is what, not to mention why you should care about any of it at all. Were there even a modicum of wit thrown in there, a few jokes, perhaps it wouldn’t have been quite so exhausting--but director Zack Snyder has opted to take a trip down dour lane, where everything must be invested with Deep Meaning, and where humour doesn’t exist. Botched is an understatement to describe what Snyder’s done to the material here; pulverised would be much more accurate. The film opens where 2013’s Man of Steel (also directed by Snyder) left off, or rather, in the middle of the climatic battle in that film where Superman FKA Kal-El (Henry Cavill) is swooping around in the skies, fighting the forces of his Kryptonian arch-enemy General Zod (Michael Shannon), and essentially razing down much of the Metropolis skyline in the process, as you do. And who should we find down on the ground, getting his boxers in a twist over all the destruction he’s seeing around him, but ol’ Bruce Wayne (Ben Affleck), in town to check in on Wayne Enterprises’ Metropolis office--Gotham is, according to this iteration, just a stone’s throw away. And it’s about to get worse. As Kal-El and his alien foes hurtle through the air and crash through concrete, they eventually happen upon Bruce’s building, and it, too, is reduced to rubble, crushing most of the people inside.

Of course, one could argue that Bruce himself should really be no stranger to collateral damage, having no doubt caused a few unintentional civilian deaths and one or two cracks to public infrastructure while trawling Gotham in his Bat-avatar fighting evil. But he clearly feels he has the higher moral ground here (that, or he’s a distinctly Hulk-ish shade of envy), and decides that Superman is far too powerful and dangerous, and must be stopped. As he goes about bulking up and devising weapons to that end--as well as brutally roughing up random criminals, presumably to loosen up the rusty muscles--the real Clark Kent is behind his desk at the Daily Planet, and let’s just say, he’s not too impressed with Batman’s recent-most spree of vigilantism either. The stage thus set, albeit rather murkily, for confrontation, all we need is a little push from a megalomaniac with vague motivations, in the form of billionaires scientist Lex Luthor (Jesse Eisenberg), to trigger the titular clash. It’s pretty exciting stuff in theory, this sort of meeting of iconic characters whom we’ve watched go about their individual businesses for so many years. And this film is just the beginning, apparently; an ensemble Justice League feature is to follow in 2017, none-too-subtle teasers for which are plugged here. But there’s a sense that DC and Warner Bros might have jumped the gun somewhat, no doubt in a rush to compete with Marvel’s success with such crossovers with the Avengers. However, though it might be naïve to expect a standalone film in the genre anymore--properties are increasingly being tied together in ambitious, cross-promotional “world-building” efforts--even in the capacity of connective tissue, Batman v Superman just doesn’t make the cut.

                       
I won’t deny there’s potential in the premise, ie the idea of holding these super-forms accountable for the vast wreckage they leave behind every time there’s another battle royale to save the world, to see these events from the perspective of the people on the streets. It’s sort of a look inward at the genre itself, the over-the-top violence it often peddles: How many civilians is it okay to kill in the service of wiping out a wider terrorist threat? Should heroes act “unilaterally” or should they be governed? These are interesting moral questions, but Snyder proves incapable of addressing them in any meaningful way. There’s certainly enough pretentious pseudo-profundities about gods and men floating around here to fill a tank, but at its core, the logic behind the animosity between Batman and Superman--that all-important ‘v’, if you will--just feels too flimsy. You’re never actually clear on why Bruce is so intent on killing Clark, or why Clark hates Bruce back with such a passion either; they frequently give the impression of two petulant narcissists defending their turfs, little more. The screenplay by Chris Terrio and David Goyer seems designed, then, to distract us from this absence of purpose by piling on storyline upon storyline and switching between these every few minutes, leading up to a loud, chaotic finale wherein a key plot point is so ridiculously engineered that you might actually burst out laughing. And Batman v Superman pretty much lays waste to acting talent the way it does buildings, particularly the second-tier cast, featuring returnees like Amy Adams, Diane Lane and Lawrence Fishburne, as well as new recruits like Jeremy Irons and Holly Hunter, most of whom only exist to serve up snippets of perfunctory exposition. As for the leads, Affleck takes the prize as the most morose and the least memorable Batman of all time--he might physically fit the role of an ageing superhero, but he’s given little to do except brood, tinker with machinery, and rasp out unintentionally funny fighting talk (“Do you bleed? You will.”) from under bulky metal headgear. Speaking of unintentionally funny, the single expression that Cavill maintains for majority of running time--eyebrows furrowed, lips pursed--had me in stitches every time he came on screen; the actor is still as stone-faced and bland as he was in the last film. But the worst, by far, is Eisenberg, whose unhinged, chattery villain is so unbearably forced--a performance that reminds uncannily of Shahrukh Khan--you just want to swat him away. To add to everything else, treatment of female characters is shabby at best, where they represent pretty things always needing to be rescued. Yes, yes, Wonder Woman (played by Gal Gadot) does put in an appearance, but we learn nothing of importance about her other than that she looks very nice in backless cocktail dresses, and of course, that gold-embellished costume. The main problem here is that Snyder has seriously overreached, seemingly aspiring to both the dark thematic undertones of the Dark Knight trilogy, and the wanton CGI-borne spectacles of something like the Transformers, resulting in a bizarre mix that proves neither thought-provoking, nor moving, nor in any way enjoyable--just a dismal two-and-a-half-hour long plod. If DC had any smarts, they’d keep Snyder well away from the next one.

                                   

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